the real deal

Ever wonder where Hollywood gets those awesome and amazing animal sounds for movies like Jurassic Park or Avatar? I have found the answer to the mystery.

Horny Goats.

I have the rare living situation where my home is on wheels while I finish college. (hence the name 'Pearl', because I get tired of long drawn out explanations of my circumstances).

 I have access to 50 acres of sights, smells and sounds that not everyone has the unique opportunity to experience.
Up to last night, a lot of said sights, smells and sounds have been ... reasons to stuff cotton in my ears to say the least. Dogs bark, roosters crow, ducks splash, coyotes howl, Log trucks Jake-brake, etc... (Pearl has thin walls).

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'd MUCH rather hear those sounds than the ones I heard while living in a sliver of a two-bedroom apartment. I'd have to explain the 'newlywed' sounds to my girls as 'wrestling' coming from one side, and the other was more like something out of a Conan movie on the other side. I would tell my co-workers I'd hear fighting on one side and "wrestling" on the other. Not good.

So, the economy has effected everyone, that goes without saying, and Mom, sis and I are all doing our best to try and make a go of things in our own special ways so we don't end up living in a tent somewhere, (worse yet-back in those sucktacular apartments). Mom works, My sister works as much as she can, I work, go to school, make stuff, write, etc.

One result of the economy was that mom and sis acquired some Boer goats from a family who had to downsize their lives. I felt proud of the fact we can accommodate that. My sister is a Veterinarian (and a damn good one) and animals live quite well around here.

So these goats? hilarious. I love to watch them off my porch while they munch Hawthorne branches on their hind legs. Goats are just cool animals to have around.

Last night, my sister comes home with a Billy goat. ( that is a boy that still has his 'parts' for you city folk). I walked up to have a look at him, because he is quite .. majestic. My sister says "he is in full rut" about the time the smell about knocked me on my ass. Whoarf! Dudes. Wow. I can't even compare it. Sort of a cross between Pine Sol and Musk. My closest comparison would be that time waaaay back when a family from back home had a pet Antelope (a boy of course) and I walked up to him all stupid "Oh look at the cuteypie antelopeypoo!" and scratched him under his adorable widdle chin- which happened to be right on his SCENT glands- and my hands stunk for a full month. (you hunters might even know what I'm talking about).

Anyway, Sis says, "The owners say he makes the weirdest noises". I wondered at that because as soon as we put him in with the ladies, he was chasing and peeing and had his tongue out. Looked like a night at one of the bars I hung out in back in the military. No noises though. Not until 3 O'clock this morning anyway.

3am is the Magic Quiet Hour around here. Little or no traffic, and most of the flora and fauna are asleep, or at least quiet. Hoo hoo. NOT this morning.  I can only describe the 'sound' as a 'Twilight Zone' moment where I thought I woke up in the hunting territory of Velociraptor in a Jurassic Park movie. You know how Tibetan monks can sing deep and high at the same time? Yeah. Billy was all a hootin' and singin'. It took me a while to narrow it down, because it did -at first sound like a cat that had been run over and was in the throes of death.

 I went out to investigate, and I barely got within 50 feet of the fence and got Sham-wowzered by Horny Goat Smell. Gah!! I could see him in the moonlight, making this noise that has no definition.. ( I even googled "goat sex"- not a good thing to do. don't let your kids put those two words together. Ever). He's chasing the ladies around at 3 in the morning, letting the whole world know he's ready for a go. I couldn't stop myself. I started laughing, and laughing, and then I had to come here and tell you all about it. I just wish I could record that damned sound. It was almost- but not quite- like the "horses" from Avatar. I still need to watch the movie again to make sure. But I will not get up every morning and try to acquire it for you because that might just be considered as.. weird. Well, weird-er..