I have a mannequin. I use her to display things I have made. Lately I have noticed that my mannquin is losing weight. She came to live with us from Ebay, cost over 200$, and has been the subject of conversation everywhere I take her. Now, I have to decide if she's becoming anorexic or something. I made a size small halter top for my daughter Sadie, and it's too big for her. I'm not sure how this happened, but I'll be investigating this further.
I am excited about moving into my new sewing area. It will be private, yet chilly, because my mother's house isn't finished yet, but free space is nothing to complain about. I have this tidal wave of art quilt ideas I want to bring to fruition, and have'nt had the time to do so.
I hate making scrub hats all of a sudden. The redundancy must be getting to me, much like when you have to make a garter stitch blanket. (I am a BIG FAN of the Yarn Harlot). The same thing everyday would make me crazy.
I wish I had a whole week. Seven whole days. sun up to sun down. No kids. just Sew/create time. What a birthday present that would be! OH the joy of the things I could do! I'd be sitting in a pool of tears the first day because I wouldn't know where to start! Should I finish the ten thousand projects I already have in various stages of finished? Or should I start that jacket I've been promising mother I'd make for the last three years? Oh and there's that knitting thing I need to do for my daughter. Oh and....'
I shouldn't torture my delicate mind with such fantasy. Back to work, Back to school, back to reality. Kids, work, moving, driving, cleaning...

Projects and Time stealers

In between moving out of the rental and into my new little home, there are still projects to be done. I have several customer's items that need to be hemmed, zippered, finished, crocheted, knitted and most importantly, FINISHED and RETURNED to their proper location so I can get PAID. Simple enough? Hardly.
Haven't you wondered why, when you schedule time and have the luxury to say to yourself " Okay. tonight's the night. I have three hours where I don't have to do anything except work on projects. " and all of a sudden the phone rings, you know you shouldn't answer it, but it's your mom calling and she's like, " are you doing anything later?" .. THE QUESTION from HELL when it comes to my mom. If I say, " NO", then she's got loads of 'chores' or even better: " It will only take a few minutes" - that turns into sucking up all the time you had working on HER projects instead of yours. If I say "YES", then I still get the "Oh it will only take a few" to .. " well, I was going to fix everyone dinner afterwards", and the ever-popular, "Well Okay" .. with the dreaded knowing that I shunned helping my mother and I will suffer the consequences for the rest of my days and how dare I deny my ability to drop anything that I am doing to run and jump for her absolute necessary thing she needs done right the hell now and what kind of daughter am I for treating a mother like this??? AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...okay, breathe.
It's like some "needy mom radar" goes off and she knows that I have a spare moment. Or that I might just remotely be considering sitting down and have nothing to do with my hands. Okay I know, I'm ranting on mom. Moms. Motherhood.
I have managed to get the zipper replaced. I'm enjoying zippers a lot more than I used to. They can be a pain in the ass to replace on coats though. The shirts are another story. It was supposed to be just an easy hem, but they are Hawiian Rayon button ups, and would hang funny if I just folded up the hem one inch. I'm ripping out the whole hem, re-positioning the side vents, and re-hemming. That takes a while.
I have also made several scrub hats. I really like the fabric Bethany picked out for hers. Skulls are the new flowers anymore. I see skulls on kids of all ages, styles and tastes. My friend Jill even has a purple skull hoodie! totally cute!
I even knit a few rows on the blue wool socks I started in May. Might even get them done this weekend in beween packing boxes and moving furniture. Not like there's anything else to do.
What? Oh craptastic. Mom's calling on the cell..

laughing is always the best medicine

Good friends are hard to come by. I happen to be lucky enough to have two I see on a daily basis. Two! how cool is that? We work together, laugh until we cry or pee together, and text each other about life and give each other support when one or the other needs it.
Granted, I have friends, old friends, new friends, friends I haven't heard from in a while, one good friend that I talk to once in a while but it's always like it was yesterday. I enjoy making them laugh, I want to be there when they cry, I want to knit all of them socks, sew them quilts, make their kids and grandkids stuff, and give them money if I win the lottery.
I've actually won the friend lottery. Got offered a higher paying job, with benefits, even a little free time to study if I wanted. NOT taking it. Not even interested. Why? I couldn't leave what we have built together. We have a pretty sweet deal here where we work, and we work well together. I look forward to being here every day, and we help each other out, and keep the mood cheerful and postive.
We even like the same colors, have a lot of things in common, likes, dislikes, etc. I'm rambling.
I wonder if people ever find the really good friends. I believe that you have to be one in order to have one, so maybe for me, it's about time. We deserve a good work environment, and it also helps us keep things in perspective. We are, after all, in a health care environment, and everyone here has that caring personality about them. I don't know any of us that are only here for the money, or are burnt out, or things like that.
I wonder if people take the time to really look at themselves ( not just in the mirror) and take the time to become really, really self-aware about who they are. It has only since I have been on my own the last few years that I have been able to do this. I have read a few books, and surfed the web a bit to come to realize that this tends to happen among those of us that are in our middle years. I mean that we sort of look at our lives reflectively. "okay, I'm 40 now, and here I am. What do I need to make me better?" Or, "Whoa! I really f@$%^ed up that one! now what do I do?" or even, "AHH, who cares?" ..
I was like that for a while. Seriously. Not doing it anymore. I love my kids, but not using that excuse for the way I look, or how I act. I still have my life to live. I still have dreams, and desires, and things I want to do. I have a long list. I'm hoping this guy I'm texting and I might chase a few together.
Back to friends. I would tell anyone. Get one. Be one. Give them all you got. Don't isolater yourself. We are humans, meant to live together, experience, teach, set examples for, and, ultimately, die. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I never knew I would fully understand the power of re-connecting with someone I haven't seen or spoke to in years until it actually happened to me. You have to hand it to these social networking things, it is a powerful tool for a person's business and personal life.
He found me on FB, and sent his telephone number. I texted hello, and we have been talking and texting, pretty much non-stop for a few days now. People, it has been 17 years since I last saw this guy. 17! That's a whole marriage by my reckoning. It gave me flashbacks to a more turbulent time in my life. Hot, fun, crazy, all the things that being young posesses. Wait. I sound like a country music song in the making! ..
Okay back on track. Has it happened to you? What were you feeling? What were you remembering? All those memories rushed back into my ever-so-structured life and all of a sudden I found myself being a BIG fan of texting, to the point where my teenage daughter told me, "Mom. You are acting like a teenager." I was all, like "So?" And she was all like, "Get real" and I was all like- wait..
Okay, so I was acting like a lovestruck moose, but are you kidding me? I haven't had any male attention since I kicked out my ex. All I do is take care of those around me. I'm finding myself acutely aware of .. me. Hmm not quite sure how to explain that other than I'm taking time to look in the mirror in the mornings, and realizing that- yikes- there's a little room for improvement. Yep, gotta drag out the exercise videos, shave once in a while, maybe even wear makeup. I even have been reading those ads for 'age defying eye gel' or 'butt-lift cream' .. hahaha. I even looked into how much a tummy tuck costs! Dating when you're older --hoi..But I have a spring in my step, a smile on my face, that "somebody likes me" feeling that I completely forgot about. It feels good. Damn good!
But then again, there's the other side of the situation. We're on opposite sides of the state. He's divorced, has a job, and a life, and has been dating. But the feelings are pretty hard to deny, and he has told me he feels the same way.
That being said, I'm still trying to build my life and have a life at the same time. How do you make that work? On one hand, I'm jealous of those that get to spend time with him on a daily basis. Does he feel the same? We have both decided to get to know each other again, but you can only convey so much through texting and phone calls. The next step is seeing each other, right? But between now and then, do I expect him to not see anyone else? I don't see anyone because- well I just haven't had the desire, or time, or..self-image to even try.
See what is churning around in my head? It's enough to want to quit right there due to the fact that he has really, truly rocked my safe little world. ( For the better, I might add). I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. This was something I needed and didn't even know it. It's working so far. Wish me (us) luck.
For now, it's back to the mouse wheel. Only now it seems much more fun to run on it!