44 and counting

I am 44 today. 44 years of growing, learning, failing and winning.

I always laugh when I hear people pine away for "I wish I was 21 again", or similar comments. Never in a million years, even if time-travel were possible, and Sean Connery or George Clooney wanted to marry me and Merle Haggard were to sign me a record deal, and I knew the inner secrets of IBM would I do it. Never. No way. (although it is a LOT of fun to daydream about..when I have time. But then I fall asleep and miss out on all the details)

I am not exactly where I want to be, financially, locationally, or professionally. I am not at the size of jeans that make me feel best. I don't think I will ever get the foot size back  I was and I still keep my favorite cowboy boots around even though they don't fit because my feet grew a size with every pregnancy and now I have feet that fit a woman 6'3".

 I am still in school to pursue that degree that says, "yes you are smart enough to make $30 an hour".  I am not living in the place I want, which is my own house, a little land, and has weather that my heat-intolerant body can handle.

 BUT, I am happy where my mind is. I know myself. I know what I can and can't do. I get clothes from the second-hand stores, buy groceries at the Discount places, and glean the fields of their left-over bounty as time permits. I can knit a sock in the same amount of time that I can help stack 1000 haybales. I can make a computer and a kid behave, make grouchy Surgeons laugh, stand up to bullies, and show compassion for those less fortunate.

I am happy where my heart is. I am content that my kids are healthy, smart, and strong. I know my  Mom job is a success- so far.

I am happy with my relationships. There aren't enough words on the planet to describe the people that make my life what it is. Family can put me somewhere between tickets to Happy Acres and Prison, Friends keep me close to 'Beaches' and 'Steel Magnolias'.

Boyfriends. Lovers. Well, there is a 'spot' that needs improvement. We all have a 'spot'... Just about the time I get the urge to find a boyfriend, and meet one or two 'potentials', it seems that the ungodly amount of effort involved is so exhausting, I chastize myself for even thinking that it was a good idea. Run, Marilyn! Run!" is all I hear in my mind. But I keep trying.  Even at 44, there is someone out there that doesn't expect me to look and act 22. He has hope that I have a cushion of life experiences to handle the highs and lows that always manage to show up now and then. A sense of humor that ranges from  Rodney Carrington to Johnny Carson. That doesn't need a nurse, a mommy, a housekeeper, or a bank account in his significant other. That doesn't mind a little 'fluffy' around the middle, and respects efforts to keep improving such.

And so, yet another year rolls by, and I keep creating because I have that in me. There's a reason for it, and I will follow my heart and intuition through. I keep hoping I find that sweet spot in life where there is Balance.

p.s.
Once, a few years ago, I visited my "New Age" Aunt. She had a friend there that was what I called a "reader", and after 'reading' my cousin and her friends, she turned to me, closed her eyes and said almost immediately,  "You have a very old soul". She proceeded to tell me my "symbol" was a Double Spider, and other interesting bits of information I have since forgotten. I didn't understand the "old soul" part for quite a while until I was discussing it with a friend who knows that sort of thing, a "Sage" if you will. She looked at me- no wait- she stood straight up as tall as her slender, barely-5-foot-tall body could, shot me a fierce, brown-eyed look and said, "You haven't learned. That is why you keep coming back."

Looks Like I might be back. I need to learn.  44, here we go.

There's gotta be an easier way

I have an Etsy site. I have an Ebay account. I have a blog. What I haven't tried is, Facebook. Yes folks, looks like I will try and sell my things there.

It is almost im.poss.i.ble to "feature" your things on Etsy because there are SO many artists competing for that exact same thing. And, they charge Seven Bucks just for a brief moment in the sun.

Ebay, as you all know is just having the right thing at the right time.

So, I guess I'll try my luck on Facebook.

Backfill

I have a Ravelry account with a bunch of pictures of the things I have made, and a Facebook account with a zillion pictures of everything, I decided to add stuff to this blog because not everyone has access to my pictures.

Here's one of my favorites:

My 4 year old modeling the Pirate hat. I originally knitted it for my oldest daughter, but alas. Too small now.

My daughter was taking the pics. They had a lot of fun!

This is the horeshoe hat. I am going to post this one on Etsy for sale. Fishermen's wool. Love it!

It is supposed to fit a women's head size medium. I am wondering how big my son's head really is? Hee hee.

On a more professional note: I have recently (yesterday, to be exact) had the opportunity to start sewing custom made men's shirts. I am really excited about a steady opportunity!

Berry Picking

Look at those monsters! "Triple Crown" variety. Thornless! That made picking them much more friendly. And sweet? the BEST.

I used to be with a Gleaner group that does this kind of thing all the time. We pick as much as the farmer/owner says we can, and then share with the people in the group that are in need. (homebound, elderly, etc..) It's a great way to feed everyone and not just wait for handouts. Plus, you get to keep at least half of what you pick.

Just a thought for the day: No matter  how bad you think you might have it, there is always, always ALWAYS somebody who is much worse off than you are. Take the time to do something for those less  fortunate once in a while. In the name of knitting...crocheting.. creating. Happiness.

Jezebel is now done, ends weaved in, and posted on Etsy for sale. 40"x60", some little girl is really going to love it.
 The camera really didn't make the purple as it should, but that's the best I have got. 

So, I had to do a little cropping with this photo. Apologies if it looks weird.
The shouchy beanie #1.
Joe looks so cute!

Not sure where those charming looks come from .. :)

















And, I started Sadie's hat.

Lot's of fun! I get to sit on the porch, knit, and keep cool in the process because I have an Ice Pack on my knee. Oh the joys of summer!

-squirrel!

I was happily working away on the scarf for mom. I even have started a forever blanket for her. THEN all of sudden- Squirrel!

I got sidetracked with a totally awesome little slouchy hat book I spied at the LYS while helping mom pick out a few more "sparkly" yarns for her forever blanket. I have already made one so far, casting on another. Dudes. I can be very focused when I want, but there was NO stopping me on this one. These hats are to die for. My oldest daughter Sadie saw the book and went 'ooohhh. Mom. I want that one!" (the third one in the book. I already started the second one.)

Yep. Too hot for blankets, too interesting for scarves. It's hat making time! I could use the "back to school fashion accessory "must-have" of the season" line. That might work. hmmm..

gotta knit.

Because I have to sew next week. I am in Neveah!!

Getting better

I had surgery on my left knee last week. I now have a new ACL (anterior cruciate ligament- if you don't know what that is). Sitting here at my computer desk is rather agonizing, I must say. I have had to take a few weeks of of work (bad) but am actually able to get some projects done (good).

First, there's this:

The hat is a lot of fun to make, 8 rounds, repeat in the horseshoe pattern. I need to practice a little better attention to what round I am on. But a good first try. Better pictures later.

Then, there's this:

My Forever blanket. I used leftover yarn, yarn I found at yardsales, goodwills, second hand stores, yarn that was given to me my whatever means, and just used a huge crochet hook, didn't even count how many chains I did, and two rows per color. Sometimes one, depending on how I liked it. I didn't change it if I didnt' like it. Just kept adding rows. This darn thing sat next to the bed for almost 6 months before I got back to it. Now it's done! I love it. It's heavy, soft, and always interesting to look at.

My mom wants one now. :)

And, here's a good shot of the day I came home from surgery to entertain you all. :)

That was my leg last Wednesday.  The blue thing is an ice pack and OH was that nice.

The chair where I spent all my time recuperating..

I won't show you my leg. ew.

I've already started a skinny scarf for Mom. She found a yarn in the bin she liked.

I think I will make yet another Forever blanket and sell it at the Christmas Bazaar. Fun!